This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
