Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
