Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
