shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
