got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
