He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
