Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
