So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
