well I can't set my house on fire every night
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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