Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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