I'm jealous of your bromance
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
