Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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