just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she told me i tasted like america
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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