hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
