Betty ford says i'm here all night
Do vagina's smell?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
