and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
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