it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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