Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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