shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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