Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
