he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
