The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
