Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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