i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There's always time for handjobs
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize
