Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
