Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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