Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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