Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
