My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
