youre lurking in front of me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
