I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
