it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
soo... how was my night?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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