We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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