i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
