Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
