What did we do last night that was yellow?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
