Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
