$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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