I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
