if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
