fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
