Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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