I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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