So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
