feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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