So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
