From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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