I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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