girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
