Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
