Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You can't motorboat a personality
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
