Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Watching her eat just hurts me
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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