Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
